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funny jokes on husband wife

what will we read in this article, we will read about the 50 best jokes on husband wife, you will laugh a lot after reading these jokes and you will also enjoy reading these, you can tell these jokes to your partner. You will enjoy one of the best jokes given in the article below, which you can read one by one, if you like the jokes on husband wife, or if you want jokes on any other topic, then you can comment.

Jokes on Husband wife number 1

A husband and wife were on a road trip when they got lost. The husband refused to stop and ask for directions, so they drove around for hours until the wife finally took the map and navigated them to their destination. The husband said, “I guess you were right.” The wife replied, “Of course I was, I’m always right.”

Jokes on Husband wife number 2

A wife asked her husband to take out the trash, but he was too busy watching TV. The next day, she put a sign on the trash can that read, “Out of order.” When the husband asked why the trash wasn’t taken out, the wife said, “It’s out of order, just like you.”

Jokes on Husband wife number 3

A husband and wife were at a restaurant when the wife noticed the husband staring at the waitress. She said, “Do you think she’s pretty?” The husband replied, “No, I was just wondering if she’s the one who messed up my order.”

Jokes on Husband wife number 4

A wife came home to find her husband passed out on the couch with an empty bottle of whiskey next to him. She woke him up and asked why he had been drinking. He said, “I wanted to drown my sorrows.” She asked, “What sorrows?” He replied, “I don’t know, they can swim.”

Jokes on Husband wife number 5

A husband and wife were at a party when the husband said he needed to go to the bathroom. The wife said, “Don’t forget to wash your hands.” The husband replied, “I’m a grown man, I know how to pee.”

Jokes on Husband wife number 6

A wife asked her husband to buy her a diamond ring for their anniversary. The husband replied, “Why do you need a diamond when you already have me?” The wife replied, “Because diamonds last forever.”

Husband and Wife Jokes Number 7

A husband and wife were at a zoo when they saw a sign that read, “Please do not feed the animals.” The husband said, “I’m going to feed the monkeys.” The wife said, “Why?” The husband replied, “Because they look hungry.” The wife said, “So do I, but you don’t see me asking for food.”

Husband and Wife Jokes Number 8

A wife asked her husband to go to the grocery store and buy some bread. He came back with a loaf of bread, a gallon of milk, and a bag of chips. The wife said, “Why did you buy all this extra stuff?” The husband replied, “The bread was on sale.”

Husband and Wife Jokes Number 9

A husband and wife were arguing over who was going to cook dinner. The wife said, “I’m not cooking, you always complain about my cooking.” The husband replied, “That’s because your cooking is terrible.” The wife said, “Then why did you marry me?” The husband replied, “Because I love you, not your cooking.”

Husband and Wife Jokes Number 10

A husband and wife were at a restaurant when the husband ordered a steak. The wife said, “I thought you were a vegetarian.” The husband replied, “I am, but I’m also a human, and humans like steak.”

Husband and Wife Jokes Number 11

A wife asked her husband to clean the bathroom, but he refused. She said, “If you don’t clean the bathroom, I’m going to tell all our friends that you have a small penis.” The husband replied, “Fine, I’ll clean the bathroom.” The wife said, “I was just kidding, you don’t have to clean it.” The husband replied, “I know, but I still want to.”

Husband and Wife Jokes Number 12

A husband and wife were watching TV when a commercial for a new car came on. The husband said, “I want that car.” The wife replied, “You can’t afford it.” The husband said, “I can if I stop buying you expensive gifts.” The wife replied, “Well, I guess you’ll be taking the bus then.”

Husband and Wife Jokes Number 13

A husband and wife were out for a walk when they came across a wishing well. The husband threw in a coin and made a wish. The wife asked him what he wished for, and he said, “I wished for a new wife.” The wife replied, “That’s not very romantic.” The husband replied, “I’m sorry, I didn’t know you could hear me.”

Husband and Wife Jokes Number 14

A wife asked her husband to do the dishes, but he was too busy playing video games. She turned off the TV and said, “Now you can do the dishes.” The husband replied, “I can’t believe you just did that.” The wife replied, “Believe it, because it just happened.”

Husband and Wife Jokes Number 15

A husband and wife were driving home from a dinner party when the wife said, “Do you think I’m pretty?” The husband replied, “Of course you’re pretty.” The wife said, “Then why did you spend the whole night flirting with the waitress?” The husband replied, “I was just being polite.”

Husband and Wife Jokes Number 16

A wife asked her husband to take her out for a romantic evening. He took her to a hardware store and said, “Pick out anything you want.” The wife replied, “I thought you said romantic.” The husband replied, “This is my idea of romance.”

Jokes on Husband wife number 17

A husband and wife were at a casino when the husband won a large sum of money. The wife said, “What are you going to do with all that money?” The husband replied, “I’m going to buy you a new diamond ring.” The wife said, “Why do I need a new ring?” The husband replied, “Because I want to show you how much I love you.” The wife said, “You can show me by paying off our mortgage.”

Jokes on Husband wife number 18

A wife asked her husband to stop snoring at night. He replied, “I can’t help it, I have a deviated septum.” The wife said, “Then get it fixed.” The husband replied, “I don’t want to, because then I’ll have to hear you snore.”

Jokes on Husband wife number 19

A husband and wife were at a pet store when they saw a parrot that could talk. The husband said, “We should buy it.” The wife said, “Why?” The husband replied, “So it can tell us how much it hates your cooking.”

Husband wife Jokes number 20

A wife asked her husband to take her on a romantic vacation. He took her to a cabin in the woods with no electricity or running water. The wife said, “This is not my idea of a romantic vacation.” The husband replied, “It’s not my idea of a vacation either, but it’s all we can afford.”

Husband and wife Jokes number 21

A husband and wife were at a restaurant when the wife saw a spider on the wall. She screamed and asked the husband to kill it. The husband replied, “I can’t, it’s an endangered species.” The wife said, “What species?” The husband replied, “The one that’s keeping you quiet.”

Husband wife Jokes number 22

A wife asked her husband to fix the leaky faucet in the bathroom. He said, “I’ll do it later.” She said, “No, do it now.” He replied, “I’m in the middle of a game.” She said, “Fine, I’ll just call a plumber.” He said, “You can’t do that, they charge too much.” She replied, “Then fix the faucet.”

Husband wife Jokes number 23

A husband and wife were at a museum when the wife said, “I bet you don’t know anything about art.” The husband replied, “I know enough to know that I don’t like it.” The wife said, “That’s not true, you just don’t understand it.” The husband said, “I understand it perfectly well, I just don’t like it.”

Husband wife Jokes number 24

A wife asked her husband to take her shopping. He replied, “I’m not going shopping, I hate shopping.” She said, “But I need your opinion on what to buy.” He replied, “Okay, how about you buy everything and I’ll give you my opinion on what to return.”

Husband wife Jokes number 25

A husband and wife were arguing over who was the better driver. The husband said, “I’m the better driver, I’ve never been in an accident.” The wife replied, “That’s because I’m always in the car with you, telling you where to go.”

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